Hot Packages: Chris Paul, Will Packer Shopping 'Hoops' Series; Temple Hill Producing 'Dolly All the Time' Movie

Happy Wednesday, folks!

Yesterday, I woke up to the news that Sebastian Stan had seemingly confirmed his role in The Batman Part II — as Harvey Dent, no less. Hmmm… that would be bad for me! Fortunately, it turned out that the interview was from a French journalist (first red flag), it took place during the Cannes Film Festival (second red flag) before I reported Stan’s real role as Victor Zsasz in mid-June, and by the end of the day, Stan’s team was reaching out to the trades to say he’d been misquoted. This morning, the French journalist deleted their tweet and removed Dent from their story. Womp womp — nothing to see here, folks! Just poor critical thinking skills from the internet’s many editors…

Next, Page Six Hollywood reveals that Obsession breakout Inde Navarrette was forced to turn down a role in Heat 2 to play Rogue in Marvel’s X-Men movie. That’s kind of a bummer, as I think Navarrette could’ve learned something from Leonardo DiCaprio, Christian Bale, and director Michael Mann, but she knows what’s best for her career, and Marvel is the gift that keeps on giving, whereas a supporting role in Heat 2 might have been too thin on the page. Then again, DiCaprio himself eschewed superhero movies early in his career, as has Timothée Chalamet, who could’ve taken the easy money in the wake of Call Me By Your Name, but decided to forge his own path instead.

I think Navarrette is better than a role in Marvel’s X-Men ensemble, but I understand why she said ‘Yes’ to that giant blockbuster, which will keep her relevant — and employed — for years to come. Trust me, she’ll have plenty more opportunities to star in prestige projects. I just wish we didn’t lose so many talented young actors to the Marvel Machine, which requires that they sign years of their life away. Sigh…

Elsewhere, Cinemark, the country’s third-largest theater chain, is now supporting the Paramount-Warner Bros. merger. What do these theater owners know that California A.G. Rob Bonta doesn’t? A lot? Oh, okay…

And finally, I want to tell Hollywood about an exciting new band, Angine de Poitrine, though I suspect they’re already on the industry’s radar, given their unique sense of showmanship.

Back in March, I started the process of playing the journalist card for a ticket to the band’s L.A. debut on Monday night, and hours before showtime, their PR team came through with a ticket.

Now, you can’t play the journalist card for tickets that often. It’s like a superpower that should only be used sparingly, as it’s an easy privilege to abuse, especially if you’re from a legitimate outlet like, say, Variety, as I used to be. These days, I can only hope that game recognizes game.

As true industry folks know, something special better be happening if you want people to brave downtown Los Angeles, and Angine de Poitrine certainly qualified. Tickets started at $35 and wound up reselling on StubHub for over $500. This was a genuine event.

The band chose to play at the Teragram Ballroom, a small, intimate venue that holds roughly 600-625 people and was absolutely packed, to the point that I could barely move in the center of the room. I actually got claustrophobic during the opening song and moved to the back of the venue so I could move enough to dance in place, which is kind of the whole point of attending a concert.

The Canadian jam band consists of Khn de Poitrine and Klek de Poitrine, who wear elaborate polka-dot-covered costumes while they play a double-necked guitar and the drums, respectively. Khn’s white nose sticks straight out like Pinocchio’s, while Klek’s black nose hangs limp and flops around as he pounds the drums. Their costumes also light up — a triangle illuminates over Khn’s head, while Klek’s eyes flash yellow.

The crowd offered a sea of bearded white guys in polka dots and glasses — I don’t even wear glasses, but I wore a fake pair on Monday night for some reason — most of whom were as high as the energy in the room, where joints were passed around like Bonnie Blue on a shoot day.

When they weren’t batting around beach balls in the form of giant dice (staying on theme with the polka dots), folks in the crowd often held up their hands to form a triangle, which reminded me of when I’d make the Weezer ‘W’ with my fingers as a teen… but it all felt very weird and cult-y. 

JJUUJJUU opened the concert on Monday night, and Angine de Poitrine were joined by Population II on Tuesday night. Khn and Klek took the stage a few minutes after 9 p.m. and wrapped up roughly 65 minutes later, playing the same eight-song setlist at each show.

They opened with “Angor,” the closing track on their new album, Vol. II, which features shifting time signatures around 6/8 and 4/4 structures. This let the crowd know just what they were in for — loud, fast computer rock.

Angine de Poitrine’s viral hit “Sarniezz” predictably drew the biggest applause of the night, though the live version of “Angor” really turned me on to that song.

That said, this music isn’t for everyone. If you strip away the artifice of the costumes and the weird shtick, the songs are hit-or-miss. There’s no question that Angine de Poutine would be far less successful as a traditional jam band. It’s their very weirdness that makes them cool, along with how committed Khn and Klek are to the bit.

I had a good time watching Angine de Poitrine do their thing, but without lyrics to hold on to, I’m not sure I could’ve stayed for another hour. The eight-song setlist proved to be the perfect amount of microtonal guitar, loops, and drums for one evening.

As far as Hollywood is concerned, I absolutely think that Angine de Poutine’s music could prove to be very popular in commercials and comedic trailers, and I do think the band could score a movie — it’d just have to be the right one. Personally, I think they could be a strong fit for something like the Daniels’ new film or Amazon MGM’s reboot of The Pink Panther with Eddie Murphy. They’re a fun, funky group, and they make upbeat music that sticks in your head like an earworm.

Angine de Poitrine will return to Los Angeles in December. Be sure to check them out at the Wiltern, which holds 3-4 times as many people as the Teragram Ballroom.

I was planning a cool comedy scoop for you guys this week, but I’m going to keep holding that one for a beat. Instead, tonight I bring word of Two Hot Packages making the rounds — one on the film side and one on the TV side. Will either one sell? We’ll see…

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