My One-Sided Battles With Inde Navarrette's Team and the Internet — Why Silence Isn't Golden In My Book

Happy Friday, folks! TGIF, am I right?

You may have seen me trending on Twitter today. Yet another “controversy,” it seems. Must be a day that ends in the letter “Y.” I’ll address the situation below the paywall, so if you want the tea, you’ll have to pay for it. Sorry! Blame Jay Penske…

Last night, I saw Adam Wingard’s Onslaught, which was like a cross between The Guest and You’re Next, except for one important thing — it wasn’t good. Like, at all.

Adria Arjona is fine as the film’s badass momma bear — she has a daughter that she needs to protect — but I wouldn’t call this her finest moment. This movie is basically about a guy she once kicked in the nuts who became a super soldier and gets turned loose in her trailer park with two of his buddies. Everyone is dressed like something out of Splinter Cell, and none of them have an off switch. There’s a government agent (Drew Starkey) on MDMA who seems to be two steps behind at all times. In other words, the script is terrible.

I’m a big fan of Wingard’s early films, but Onslaught is nakedly lazy — the kind of B-movie you could write on a rainy afternoon. In this case, the “B” stands for “brainless.”

Speaking of brainless movies, I’ve got two more for you — The Runner and Runner. Yes, you read that right. No, you are not having a stroke.

Runner is an action movie from Angel Studios starring Alan Ritchson and Owen Wilson, and while I can’t complain about said action — Act of Valor director Scott Waugh delivers on that front — the story is way too formulaic, and nearly every actor plays a stock character.

Ritchson plays a courier who must transport a valuable liver to a little girl with an ultra-rare blood type. Wilson plays the guy responsible for overseeing the transfer. Rodrigo Santoro (300) is actually pretty good as the persistent villain, who needs the liver for his ailing mother. It’s a scenery-chewing performance, to be sure, but at least he’s livening up the proceedings. Frankly, I enjoyed Santoro’s work here.

The beauty of Ritchson’s performance as Jack Reacher is his fuck-you attitude, but in Runner, Ritchson’s personality is reduced to “Recovering Alcoholic Turned Boy Scout.” His edge is so sanded down that he’s just playing a heroic archetype, and that’s boring. And that was my main problem with this movie — it was just a little too generic for its own good.

But I get it! This is a movie from Angel Studios, which targets a faith-based audience, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In an effort to play to that crowd, the filmmakers played it safe — they were careful not to offend anyone with too much swearing or blood. Like, there is blood in this movie, but given the level of violence, I found it curiously bloodless. To be fair to Runner, it’ll probably appeal to action aficionados who appreciate a short movie about dudes with guns chasing each other, but I would’ve added a cool twist late in the game.

Speaking of which, I watched Gal Gadot’s The Runner this week, and that wasn’t very good, either, though it also wasn’t “9% on Rotten Tomatoes” bad. That’s why expectations are everything. I watched this movie thinking it would be a piece of shit, and it wasn’t — it just wasn’t very good. Hardly Gadot’s worst streaming movie, though.

Director Kevin MacDonald keeps the energy up, and Gadot makes a decent action star/desperate mom — she just shouldn’t be on the phone for an entire movie. In fact, she’s one of the last actresses who should be on the phone for an entire movie. But I do believe there’s a place for her in Hollywood post-Wonder Woman.

Falling somewhere in between The Runner and Runner was The Whisper Man, one of two new movies I watched on Netflix this week. I read The Whisper Man last year, and I thought the book was good but not great, though I was impressed when Netflix landed actors like Robert De Niro, Michael Keaton, and Michelle Monaghan for the movie.

That’s not to say I don’t like Adam Scott, because I do — I’m just not sure I like him in dramatic roles like this movie and Hokum. He’s a much, much better comedic actor. So right away, this movie is at a disadvantage. Next, De Niro is sleepwalking through this movie. Like, I don’t even know if he is awake — no disrespect to a legend.

The Whisper Man comes alive once Keaton enters the frame, and I won’t spoil the third act, but I like the younger actor it centers around. The movie is pretty dull and dreary for the first hour or so, but if you can push through it, you might find a few small pleasures late in the game. Overall, however, this is another disappointing AGBO production.

Director James Ashcroft made one of the best genre films of the past decade, Coming Home in the Dark, but I must say that he’s now 1-for-3 in my book, as The Rule of Jenny Pen also let me down.

My final note on all three of these movies? We need better child actors. God, I’m brutal today. I’m sorry. Perhaps I was just spoiled growing up. We had Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood trying to kill each other, and Culkin kissing Anna Chlumsky, and Christina Ricci kissing everyone. The ‘90s — what a time to be alive!

Let’s end this intro on a positive note. That other Netflix movie that I watched? It’s called Facing El Chapo, and I thought it was very well made by director Chava Cartas, who should absolutely be signed by a major agency. Are you listening, Hollywood?

The film stars Alfonso Herrera and Noe Hernandez as the federal cops who unexpectedly captured El Chapo (Hector Kotsifakis) and put up a hell of a fight to do so.

I actually stumbled upon this movie via the 90-second preview that Netflix runs whenever you land on a tile, and I’m glad I gave it a chance, because once it sinks its hooks in, it doesn’t let go. It runs a tight 90 minutes, the stakes are high, and there’s real suspense. Take my word for it — watch Facing El Chapo. And keep your eye on Cartas, who will almost certainly sign with a notable agency in the days ahead.

On the news side, set photos from the Daniels’ new movie vindicated my reporting about a heavy Power Rangers influence; Puck’s Matt Belloni confirmed my report from last week that called out the BS surrounding the James Bond casting search; and directors Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley confirmed my scoop that Training Day is among the main inspirations for the new Star Trek movie they’re developing.

Tom Cruise lent his support to the Paramount-WB merger, saying with confidence that the combined entity will release 30 films per year, something that I feel is easily attainable, and which my podcast co-host thinks is impossible. We’ll see on that front…

In terms of casting, Billy Barratt will play young Voldemort in HBO’s Harry Potter series, which dropped a new trailer, while trained ballet dancers Monica Barbaro and Margaret Qualley are reportedly the two finalists to play Fred Astaire’s sister opposite Tom Holland in a new biopic about the screen icon from Wonka director Paul King. Naturally, both actresses are coming off August bombs, but hey, bad movies gotta come out some time, right?

Oh, and Noah Jupe joined Avengers: Secret Wars in a top-secret role. Will he be playing Young Doom? What about Young Reed? Or, gasp, Franklin Richards? Stay tuned…

Speaking of top-secret, the Telluride Film Festival finally announced its lineup, which includes Wild Horse Nine, a film currently earning raves at Venice, where Werner Herzog’s Bucking Fastard landed with a predictable thud. Danny Boyle’s Ink earned mixed-positive reviews at Venice, while early word on Paul Greengrass’ The Uprising, which avoided all fall fests, is not very encouraging.

At the box office, The Odyssey finally clawed back the top spot from Spider-Man: Brand New Day, and the horror movie Buddy proved to be a hit with arthouse audiences even though it wasn’t my cup of tea, grossing $5.4 million on just 1200 screens, with an expansion to come this weekend.

Apologies for the long intro, but I’ve been MIA all week. I’m back with a vengeance, though, as today’s newsletter examines the controversy that has engulfed Twitter these past 24 hours, starring yours truly and Inde Navarrette.

Actually, it has nothing to do with Navarrette, and everything to do with her reps, but only premium subscribers can enter the Sneider-Verse to read more. May the rest of you have a great Labor Day Weekend!

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