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Happy Tuesday, folks!

I am here at CinemaCon, where I’ve been dutifully working on the studio report cards that have marketing executives across town waiting with bated breath.

There are far bigger newsletters than mine that can tell you far more important things, but when it comes to trailer reactions, the buck stops here — I can tell you that. I don’t need tracking to tell me how a movie is going to perform — I have two eyes, a gut, and occasionally, taste.

Speaking of which, I’m skipping tomorrow morning’s screening of DreamWorks Animation’s Forgotten Island to work on said report cards, as my young nieces aren’t in Vegas as far as I know. I’m sure it’ll be fun for the whole family, though.

And speaking of family, I was once (honored to be) part of The Ankler family, so my heart goes out to Richard Rushfield and Co. following Paramount’s petty decision to pull its ad dollars from the publication.

Having said that, this is a rather fascinating story that presents a pretty complicated issue…

On one hand, as I said last night to some friends — before I even knew that Rushfield had signed it — I thought the high-profile petition to #BlockTheMerger was pretty dopey, as I can’t really recall the last Hollywood petition to actually work. Why not just make another cringey “Imagine” video?

I mean, who is the petition supposed to be for? The government folks who think they have the power to stop the merger in the interest of the public good? Did they need a petition to spur them into action? Is the petition supposed to make Paramount’s David Ellison feel bad and halt his pursuit of WB? Is it supposed to make President Trump feel bad? WB’s David Zaslav? I genuinely don’t get who this message is intended for.

Obviously, this merger is not going to be good for anyone but Ellison, really. But what’s the alternative? See, there has to be an alternative, as WB is drowning in a sea of debt that is 100 percent of its own making. Ellison didn’t force the studio into this position.

So, if Ellison doesn’t buy Paramount, who will? Because someone has to. And Netflix walked away from the opportunity without so much as putting up a fight. For the streamer, it was about bidding up a rival and walking away with a cool break-up fee for its troubles.

I’m not a petition guy. I don’t believe they work. And I’m too apathetic to sign one.

I also think that, as a journalist, you shouldn’t really be signing a petition like that. You can oppose the merger all you want — that’s what your column is for, if you’re lucky enough, as Rushfield and I both are, to even have a column.

Rushfield argues, ‘What’s the difference?’ Either way, he opposes the merger, which is totally fine and certainly understandable. So why is Paramount choosing to punish The Ankler for this stance, which hasn’t exactly been a state secret?

To put a button on it (ha!), signing the petition crossed a line for Paramount, and I understand it from their point of view. ‘If you aren’t even going to allow us to plead our case,’ why would we support you with an ad buy?’ Of course, in theory, ad buys aren’t supposed to be about supporting a publication; they're supposed to be about using the reach of a publication to help sell your product. But we all know that ads are what keep the lights on at the trades, which is why they usually do the bidding of the studios.

Will The Ankler be forced to downsize because of this financial decision? I hope not, as it employs some solid journalists. Furthermore, I don’t see what the upside is for Paramount in antagonizing one of the few journalistic outlets that holds any sway whatsoever anymore. I think it’s childish that Paramount pulled its financial support, but it’s not my business to tell the studio how to spend its money — unless we’re talking about movies.

Meanwhile, who the fuck narc’d on Richard to Paramount for holding a bag of #BlockTheMerger buttons? Like, who would do that? What is wrong with people? Why isn’t anyone fucking cool anymore, like me and, yes, Richard? Shit like that infuriates me to no end.

In conclusion, I fully support Rushfield’s decision to sign the petition, as he’s a grown man who can do what he wants. But I can support that decision without agreeing with it. And we adults (I moonlight as one on occasion) also know that there are consequences for our actions, and The Ankler is not entitled to a fat annual ad spend from Paramount.

I know everyone is down on Ellison because his family is tight with President Trump, but leaving all the political considerations aside (Mark Ruffalo is already freaking out about CNN after this incident), I know Ellison loves movies. There are a lot of billionaires out there who would love to own a movie studio for all the wrong reasons.

David is doing it because he genuinely loves movies — and always has.

I’m telling you that the only time the guy really came to life during his inaugural press conference was when I asked him about movies and his relationship with Tom Cruise. Every other reporter wanted to know about CNN, and linear TV channels, and all this boring shit that had nothing to do with movies. It blew my mind.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not necessarily rooting for Ellison to get his hands on Warner Bros., but I also haven’t made this merger (or hating Trump) my entire personality. It’s going to happen whether I want it to happen or not. That’s life as one of the peons. A petition isn’t going to change a god damn thing, all due respect.

By the way, I’ve never been asked to sign a petition, which I find a little insulting, but I’m not sweating it too much, for it’s like the old Groucho Marx quote: "I don't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.” That’s why I don’t belong to any critics organizations, either.

Anyway, with my take on today’s hottest media story out of the way, it’s time to drop that DC scoop my headline promised — though right now is probably a good time to remind everyone that this newsletter is a reader-supported publication. When’s the last time you saw an ad here? Exactly… so do the right thing and tip your server. If you’d tip for a meal or a beer, why not tip for a scoop? I promise that I exerted just as much effort!

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