Amazon Fires Its Golden Gun at Jennifer Salke, Proving That Diamonds Are Forever, But Studio Jobs Are Not

Happy Friday, everyone!

Let’s start the weekend with some good news — Ryan Coogler’s vampire movie Sinners is poised to open to north of $40 million in a couple of weeks, which is pretty good for an original movie. That kind of opening could also signal a healthy box office this summer.

And now, for the bad news. I told you last week that Warner Bros. is looking to sell off the entire Looney Tunes franchise after finding a buyer for Coyote vs. Acme and removing the original Looney Tunes episodes from Max. Now, Deadline reports that WB is razing the single-story building where Looney Tunes was once housed in order to make room for more HBO shows and their production offices. What a world!

Like I said, that’s all, folks… just give it time. Today’s generation of kids has moved on to their own “Looney Tunes” like Bluey, Gabby’s Dollhouse, and Paw Patrol. Can you tell I have two young nieces?

Meanwhile, my sincere apologies to Hulu and FX today, as this will feel like it’s coming out of nowhere, but it’s a perfect storm that, I think, teaches a valuable lesson.

Several years ago, while writing for The Ankler, I accidentally — seriously, I have no reason to lie about this now — revealed Justin Timberlake’s cameo in his wife Jessica Biel’s limited series Candy. I did this by mistake because I didn’t click on a tiny little link with Hulu’s precious “Do Not Reveals.”

Hulu pulled my screeners, which they had every right to do, and I was willing to accept any punishment they doled out. I did the crime, so I’d do the time without complaint. Only, I’m still doing the time, and the punishment has now outweighed the crime.

Despite my reputation as a “proud rule-breaker,” one thing I don’t break is embargo.

If you get me under an embargo, I’m a man of my word.

I will happily expose all of Netflix, HBO, Amazon, and Apple’s development secrets, but if they’re going to give me access to their screeners, which they do, I’m going to respect that part of the process. You can ask them — I don’t break embargo when one is clearly communicated to me. We’ve never had an issue on that front, and I even err on the side of caution. If I’m unclear, I just wait for a trade to post, as they wouldn’t dare step out of line.

And if anyone messed with my screeners, trust me, there would be hell to pay, as I would start spoiling everything. I’m not asking for special treatment, I just want the same access as the rest of my peers. Nothing more, nothing less.

The reason I bring this up is that yesterday, the trades ran reviews of the new FX series Dying for Sex starring Michelle Williams and Hulu’s flamboyant sitcom Mid-Century Modern, and I haven’t had the chance to screen either show.

I find this to be wildly short-sighted and petty on the part of FX and Hulu’s PR departments.

When it comes to reviews, television is not like the movies. I give roughly 60 movies a year a bad review. No regrets there.

But with television, if I don’t like a show, why would I continue watching it? Any show that I’m watching, I probably like to some degree. So if those are two shows I’d watch, it’s because they look good to me. If I began watching them and didn’t like them, I’d stop watching them and probably not mention them because I never finished them.

So, giving me access to TV screeners is just giving me an opportunity to give you a good review. Denying access denies you the chance to earn a good review, since the chance of a bad review is pretty freakin’ small when it comes to TV — I’m just being honest. The network and the show are what suffer, as I can always find something else to write about.

I don’t know if I’ll get my FX screeners or Hulu screeners back because of this rant, nor is that my intention. If I stay on their respective blacklists, I’ll live. I have managed just fine the past few years, even though it drove me nuts to be forced to watch Season 5 of Fargo week-to-week like a peasant. I’m kidding, of course, but just barely.

I’ll watch Dying for Sex and Mid-Century Modern on my own time, the same way most people will watch those shows — by mooching off my father’s ad-free account.

Tonight, I’ll do my best to explain Jennifer Salke’s downfall at Amazon MGM Studios, which is both complicated and incredibly simple. And I’m sorry this column is arriving a day late. Just think of it as an Amazon package!

There are also items about the Sundance Film Festival’s new home in Boulder, Colorado, the new Martin Scorsese movie at Disney starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Dwayne Johnson, and the trailer for Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another, in which DiCaprio stars alongside fellow Oscar winners Sean Penn and Benicio del Toro.

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